my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
