I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
