Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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