Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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