so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
