Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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