She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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