i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
