Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
