I looked at my own cervix.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize