One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
