Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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