How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
