Dude my mom stole all your condoms
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
now i know why i became what i already was.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
