he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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