She is in my trunk
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
