We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want nice things and good sex
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
