Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
