so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
