Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
