had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize