It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
