I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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