The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
