new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
this is an emotional support booty call
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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