Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize