He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
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He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
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There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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