I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
What a dumb baby whore.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
