The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
