I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
