I wannas sexs uuuuu
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
