You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
