I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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