I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I lost the right to judge tonight
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
