I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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