its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
