Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Randomize
