Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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