I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
