Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize