smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
