i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
