do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Holy shit dude........stairs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
