I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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