If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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