my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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