hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
