at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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