i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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