member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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