how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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