This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
