woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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