they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
