I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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