It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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